Everything is over. No more issues.. At least for now... I had a msn conversation with Lily & fie together... And I was the middle person, trying to be fair to the both of us. I was trying to clear his name, but at the same I wanted Lily to tell watever truth there is... the conversation that started just after 10am, ended just abt mylunch time at 1pm. Continuous chatting, both trying to be the victim and the right one. Fact is, both ade silap nye, and things became so complicated, which drove Lily to do wat she did to Fie, putting him thru shite dat had bring down his pride & moral.
Wat started as a lil arguement, slowly became a serious calm confrontation, with a few laughs here & there. I asked qns here & there. And from there, I could see who's right or wrong, who's the evil or who's the victim & who's the one making things complicated. And all these I think soon became a huge misunderstanding, bcos communication wasn't really there. But watever it is, I am really glad that its all over, tho I know that Lily still loves Fie deep down. But I can't give him up, I won't. I know how it feels darling, to see ur love one with someone else. I know how it feels to be in ur position. But I went thru the shit with him, I risk my pride, knowing that ppl will look at me as the "scandal", I risked my pride, cause I wanted him to know that there is someone by his side. I risked my pride bcos I Was in love with Fie. Deeply. I feel bad for u, I do really, but there's nothing much I can do for u now. I did ask him to meet u for the last time, but he doesn't want to, I can't force him. Like I said in earlier entries, "Your lost is my gain..." so I really do hope that u will let him go, even tho relunctantly.
I am glad that everything is over. It wasn't easy but we managed to clear it. Lily, I know u still miss him, even as I'm blogging this. But I do hope u know that never have I had the intention to steal him away from u. Both me & Fie never tot we would be together. Still, thanks for deleting the blogs in ur AM.We both really appreciate it very much.
I'm feeling very tired.... tho I didn't do much, but I realised that trying to be a fair judge, at the same time trying to be defend my Fie, its so tiring... I was hungry, the image of all those Old Chang Kee was floating in my mind. But somehow, when I got to Paragon, I didn't feel hungry at all. I bought cup noodles over sandwiches, but now the cup noodle is sitting in my drawer, I had no appetite, and was even too tired to eat. Not sleepy, but just felt dat I need to relax. The ciggie didn't do me good. But I had one anyway. I am relieved but TIRED.
Even tho after that convo, I knew that Lily was still msning with Fie, I was not bothered. I was too tired, but I also knew that I had won. Fie is mine... now. I'm glad I met him. Our relationship started off with alot of complications, but we prevailed sayang. We fight thru, and in every fight, we made it. Remember I told u, patience & time will show every thing? It did, didn't it...? I'm happy now. Totally. I hope u are too. Love you so much Cis Alfian...
Sayang You Lah Giler!!!
:::BeLLe:::
Let me whisper... I love you...